As I got into bed, I tucked myself into my sheets allowing the weight of the comforter to make my body feel heavy and warm. I flipped over on my left side to set my alarm, then rolled over to my right to gently fall asleep. I took no more than three deep breaths and before I knew it, I was out like a light, not stirring for another nine hours.
I woke up the next morning to a chipper, “How did you sleep?!” from my mom, because all moms have to know their baby feels good at home. And I eagerly exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! It’s the best sleep I’ve had all year! It’s something about that bed that really gets me every time I’m home.” My mom shook her head and replied, “Oh honey, it’s not the bed. It’s the fact that you’re home. It’s that safety and security.”
You’re telling me it’s THAT simple as to why I don’t sleep as well when I am in my own home?? I don’t need a new $200 mattress topper or a magical lavender spray to all of a sudden sleep better? I just need to feel safe and secure…wow. Mind blown. But makes perfect sense. That’s when you know your realization is accurate – it just makes sense.
So, in my frustration of why I can’t sleep when I’m in my own home as well as I can in my parent’s home, I have a couple of things that came to mind.
In my own home:
- My thoughts are racing about what I have to do the next day
- More often than not, I feel like I didn’t get enough done in the day
- I am left stirring on what I could have done better
- I’m worried I forgot something
- I’m over-anticipating what the next day will bring
Whereas when I am in my parent’s home:
- I usually have nothing to worry about the next day
- I know I am taken care of
- My expectations are either super low or nonexistent so I never go to bed feeling disappointed in myself
- I don’t feel guilty about the day I just lived because I lived its purpose, which is rest
So as I transition back to my own home with my seemingly never-ending todo list ahead of me that probably won’t lighten up until I return to my parent’s home again next December, I refuse to let this cycle of bad sleep continue when I think I know a solution.
How can I emulate how I feel at my parent’s home in my own home?
I’ve got two practices that I am confident will help – reciting my sleep mantras and sticking to an evening routine. These mantras are statements I can say with confidence as I take deep breaths and my routine will help me wind down and get in the right head space + body space as I get ready for sleep. It is just so hard for me to turn off from my day, I know I need something like this to help me set up for sleep success.
My sleep mantras:
- There is nothing that cannot wait until tomorrow
- Today, I did my best and my best is always enough.
- I trust that God will provide everything I need for tomorrow.
- In this moment, there is nothing to worry about.
- No matter what happened today, there is purpose in how I lived.
- Wash face + brush teeth
- Light a candle
- Fill out my gratitude calendar
- Stretch + recite sleep mantras
- Get in bed + read something unrelated to school/work
Literally, I am not an expert at ALL on these things. I mean I honestly just stopped in the middle of this blog to research Casper products that will help me sleep but quickly realized those products will take some time to save money for before just balling out…because the good stuff be pricey y’all! But I don’t think the products we use will fix it all. Our mindset is the majority of the battle and it is important we release ourselves so we can rest with ease.
I don’t know if this will help or how much it will help, but my goodness I think it’s worth a try. Updates to come. More sleep to (hopefully) come. And more overall rest to come.
Here’s to finding more rest when I let go of control and expectation. I sleep so easy at home because I know I am taken care of. If I say I trust that God will provide for me and care for me, then I’ve got to actually start believing that.